‘The Bear’ Season 3 Episode 8 Recap: “Ice Chips”

In its first two seasons, The Bear gained notoriety for its ability to recreate the stressful energy of high-volume restaurant kitchens. Its great trick was that when that intensity became abusive and scary, the show became highly entertaining, even if it caused some of its viewers to have anxiety attacks.

The episodes that have best exemplified this are Season 1’s insane one-take kitchen meltdown in “Review” and then, of course, the star-studded Christmas Eve shitshow, “Fishes.” This season’s Big Panic comes from Sugar’s impending childbirth. And unlike the constant YELLING of those other episodes, “Ice Chips” relies on uncomfortable silences and unspoken trauma to ramp up the anxiety. 

After Sugar’s water broke in the parking lot at the end of Season 3 Episode 7 (“Legacy”), the eighth episode begins with her agonizing trek to the hospital. Stalled by some unexpected traffic, she is shouting at the Siri equivalent to call any family, friend, or co-worker who might be able to come and meet her at the hospital. No one picks up. Faced with the prospect of being alone during childbirth (or having a baby in the breakdown lane on the highway) until her husband Pete (Chris Witaske) arrives, she decides the only option left is to call Mom. 

We’ve seen evidence so far that Donna Berzatto is the last person you’d want in any situation requiring calmness. She is the original Chaos Agent of the Berzattos, wholly incapable of making any scenario not about her. But maybe–just maybe—this time around could be different. 

Nope.

As Sugar cautiously and sweatily walks across the hospital parking lot, Donna comes, loudly announcing her arrival, goofily “coaching” her daughter to breathe (“heeeeeee, heeeeeee, heeeeeee…”), and showing exactly why she was the last person called. 

“Mom, I need the baby to come into a calm and relatively fucking normal environment, which I know is beyond foreign to you…”

But they give it a rest until they make it to the maternity ward. Once inside, Natalie is panting and sweaty, anxiously telling the nurses the specific type of delivery she wants—no epidural, no drugs, no enema, no over-shaving of the pubic region (she said this). 

Donna is in full attention-grabbing mode, annoying the nurses with her tall tales about how she roughed it through the birth of her three children. (She says that she “walked to the hospital” when she gave birth to Mikey; she never knew the name of the doctor who delivered her babies—they were “just men who said things.”) 

Amidst the bravado, we also see the emptiness she’s been walking around with for most of her life, admitting that she wanted kids for selfish reasons. 

“I wanted someone to love me that way I had seen all those smug mothers down at The Jewel blocking the aisle with their strollers.”

But maybe that’s not selfish–just desperate. (We find out a little later that Donna Berzatto also had a shitty childhood and was raised by an unstable mother.) 

And before you know it—Natalie’s contractions come in hard and heavy, forcing Sugar to make a decision about her pain management. 

Donna insists Sugar take the drugs and the epidural because the pain will be “a motherfucker,” but she sticks to the plan. Donna does what she can to calm her daughter down. The heeeeees are starting to work. 

Donna offers to rub her back and, as she spoons her daughter from behind, makes the bizarre, inappropriate comment that Sugar has “a nice ass just like her dad.” She’s ruined another moment. 

Before the birthing process goes any further, it’s time for real talk. Donna wants to know why Sugar didn’t initially tell her about the baby.  

DONNA: You didn’t want me around. Am I right?

SUGAR: I don’t want her scared like I was scared. 

DONNA: I scared you?

SUGAR: You scared all of us. 

(Myself included.) 

Sugar goes on to spell out the emotional abuse that left deep, often unreachable wounds, and yet—

“I always try to make you happy. I’d make myself sick to make you feel better.” This is the disease of a dysfunctional family.

Then the contractions hit like a motherfucker, just as Donna said they would. 

Searching for some much-needed calm, Donna manages to figure out how to play the Ronnettes’ “Baby, I Love You” on her phone because that was the song playing when Sugar was born. It’s working beautifully. Pete shows up just in time, before the baby is born and before Donna can ruin another moment. 

For once during an important moment, there is peace.

THE BEAR SEASON 3 EPISODE 8: LEFTOVERS

QUESTIONS I STILL HAVE: 

• Why does everybody dump on Pete? Besides being a shlub, he loves his wife. He is implicitly good, so that must mean he’s made himself untrustworthy in the eyes of the Berzatto clan. Makes sense, honestly. 
• Also, Did Donna Berzatto and Cicero once bone? There are hints!

MIDDLE-AGED DAD NEEDLE DROP: “New Noise” by Refused. It’s not on my list of preferred songs for sure, but the dinka-dinka-dinka guitar part is the perfect soundtrack for defusing a bomb or when you’re about to cut the main chute to deploy the emergency one, or when you’re stuck in traffic about to give birth on the highway. 

CARMY ARM PORN: None. So, instead, I will go with…

A.J. Daulerio is a Los Angeles-based writer and editor. He is also the founder of The Small Bow, a recovery newsletter.